Even When
by CallMeAWota
Summary: Even when I said I hated him, he still loved me. Even when I hurt him, he didn't stop me. Even when he knew I would give away all the things he gave me, he would still give me more. Even when I said I wouldn't fall for him.. I guess I lied? - Kutau?


Even When

* * *

Summary: Even when I said I hated him, he still loved me. Even when I hurt him, he didn't stop me. Even when he knew I would give away all the things he gave me, he would still give me more. Even when I said I wouldn't fall for him.. I guess I lied?

* * *

Aha, I now find Guang Liang (Michael Wong), an influence. I just all of a sudden thought of this while watching "I Have Feelings For You"by Giang Liang and.. I'm sorry I don't know her name, I'm afraid. Well, I found the song an inspiration, and I thought of not one, but two ideas! (:

So enjoy enjoy! (:

' ~ KuTaU ~ ' indicates time skip.

* * *

**Even when I said I hated him...**

* * *

"Stop it!" I yell. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"

"Utau-"

"**Stop it!** I hate you!" I yell. "Just get away from me! Why do you insist on doing this? Stop getting so into your feelings!"

"Please," he says. "just-"

* * *

_Even when I yelled at him.. made a fool of him.._

* * *

"I don't need people like you on front porch everyday! Just stay away from me!" I yell and point. Neighbors and guests from other houses come outside, or look outside the window. What could I say? This guy was creepy! I mean.. he always knows what I feel, he always makes me feel better. Do not get me wrong, it is a good thing but.. it's _weird_.

"Just get away from me!"

* * *

Even when I hurt him...

* * *

I push him off my doorstep, I keep screaming insults in his ear.

His face has no trace of a complete smile that I know he wore, always. A small curve waxed on his mouth, soft electric green eyes looking straight at me, left hand facing me, but right hand on his side, its fingers pressing on his side-thigh, he looks in pain. He gives a soft sigh as my insults trail on and on.

I know he wants to stop me from doing this, and I know he wants to just hug or kiss me and tell me it's alright, but we're not together.

* * *

he didn't stop me.

* * *

**_Even when he knew I would throw or give away all the things he would give me.._**

* * *

"I get it. I'll leave right now," the boy finally says while my face is completely red from being angry.

He takes something out of the one armed backpack of his and hands it to me as I just stare at it. He grabs my hand and puts whatever 'it' is into my hand. I stare at it as neighbors start to turn away and back to what they are doing, and guests continue to stare as they ask if it happens every so often.

He finally smiles his usual smile and whispers...

"I love you."

* * *

**He still loved me.**

* * *

_Even when I said I wouldn't fall for him..._

* * *

"I will _never_ fall for someone like you," I say as I grip the thing in my hand.

* * *

~ KuTaU ~

* * *

"Didn't I tell you to stop this?" I say as I open the door and see his face.

His red-brown hair styled in a strange way, and somewhat always stays that way no matter what, moves as he shakes his head. "On the contrary, I never said I wouldn't visit the next day."

"You are annoying!" I say. "Next time you come, I'm not going to be answering anymore!"

I slam the door in his face with that final line as he puts his hand against the door's windows. I can see him take something, a white paper bag with white circular handles, out of his backpack again and leave it in my front porch, all from my door's side windows that had curtains hanging on it. He leaves and I wait until I can see not one color of his, before I open the door.

I look into it, a black box, which I know probably holds a type of jewelry. But I don't care, jewelry is not going to get me to love him, I am going sell this to a pawn shop and donate the money to the poor.

* * *

~ KuTaU ~

* * *

_Ding dong!_ There he is again. I know it. I check anyways.

I stand up and walk towards the door and through the door's side windows. I feel my face making its way to angry. What am I angry for? I knew it was him.

I wait a bit before I leave, and then I take a step away and he takes another paper bag out, a small clack at the doorstep as I hear small thumps walking away. I stop, knowing it is another gift. I could not resist myself. I start to turn and walk towards the door and open it, quickly and grab the gift.

I look in it. Perfume? Well, I know where this is going. When was Rima's birthday?

* * *

~ KuTaU ~

* * *

_Ding dong!_ Him again?

I do not sit up. I do not walk to the door, and check if it is him. I _know_ it is him.

I sit there a long time and after a while I stand up and grab whatever he left.

Purple Nail Polish.. Did he really walk into female-infested places to buy me these things?

Amu's birthday is in seven months right?

* * *

"Hey, isn't that the gentleman that visited Utau-chan last time and the times before that, obaa-chan?"

"I think it is," an elderly woman replies. "Utau-chan is being so cold to him.."

"I'll take him wrapped!"

"What?"

* * *

~ KuTaU ~

* * *

_Ding dong!_

I am starting to love him. All this stuff he is getting me. It's been a quarter of a year since this happened. Man, I practically do not have to step out of my house to do anything anymore. Gifts for my mother? My female cousins? My female friends? Hell, all I have to do to get for are the males in my life.

But I suppose I am doing a bad thing. I'm freeloading off the dude. I really don't want to say his name, please.

I stand up. Another day, another present. Oh my god, I love this outfit!

* * *

_he still visited me._

* * *

**_he would still give me more._**

* * *

~ KuTaU ~

* * *

I am doing a bad thing. I know it.

I know it.

I know it.

I know it.

And I feel bad.

I have recently read from Yaya. He is working his ass off for all this stuff for me, and it's slowly killing him. She would know, she is his (adopted) sister. Not to mention, his status is starting to be noticed by neighbors and neighbors are talking about it where ever I am.

I feel so bad! If he dies, Yaya has nothing of family left! Her brother was kidnapped, and still unfound a few years ago. Her original parents died in a car crash. Their parents were killed off by a thief eight years ago, months after she became a Souma, and all his brothers were sent off to train in the army or work under the Japanese government.

What do I have if she loses him? A brother that is still somewhat cold to me, but still loves me, a mother that loves and knows me very much, and a father that came back to us, begging for forgiveness of leaving us. Compare that to Yaya.

Oh my god. I should just face him now. How does he look like now? Everyday? Baggy-eyed? Deadly tired? I mean, not only does he have a second job, his first is being on one of the best known Japanese soccer teams, that just so happens to be strict about training and practices.

_Ding dong!_ I'm sorry, Kukai!

* * *

He waits out there for a little while. I see his eyes, they're tired. He puts his palm against the door's window, head leaned on the glass. He sighs loudly, enough for me to hear from the other side of the door, and through the soft music I play in the living room. He takes the same bag style out and leaves it beside the door.

"Stop it!" I yell as I yank the door open. He flinches, not expecting me to open in any case. He notices he looks like crap and tries to run away. I grab his wrist.

"I'm sorry! Just stop.. stop putting so much strain on yourself."

He stops and looks behind him, to me. "How'd you know?"

"Yaya, computer, me. I'm pretty sure that made a lot of sense.." I pause. "If talking is what you want, we'll talk."

* * *

~ KuTaU ~

* * *

I laugh again. "So she falls on her butt and she starts bawling and calling me mean and I didn't do anything!"

I laugh harder. "Yaya is still doing that?" He nods. "I forgot to ask. How are you now? It's been seven months since then? How's life turning?"

"Perfect actually. My feelings haven't changed though, they just got stronger. And it's so strong, it hurts," Kukai smiles painfully, fisting his chest.

I hide the pulsing pain on my own chest. I honestly do not know where this pain is coming from. I stare at him. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't be. It's my heart's fault for being so weak," he looks at his watch. "Oh. Hey, I have practice at around 1. I have to go. I'll see you later?"

I clap my hads together quickly and snapped my fingers and pointed at him in a gun like pose. "Totally, Lovesick Soccer Boy."

"Boy? I thought I turn 21 a week ago," he jokes. I laugh at his lame joke.

"Oh shut up. Go," I point to get him going.

He walks off the porch and quickly into his red Ferrari and waves goodbye before stepping into the car.

Now that he's gone, I feel a huge burden on my chest.. what is this?

* * *

~ KuTaU ~

* * *

"Talk to you later."

"Bye," Oh, there goes that feeling again.. for the eighteenth time?

* * *

~ KuTaU ~

* * *

"Hey Utau?" I hear my cousin knock. Oh it's Yoru.

"Come in lil' man," I say and wave my hand. "What's got your time?"

"It's this odd feeling I get when I or this girl I hang out with leave each other."

"I heard 'girl'. What's you got for me?" I smirk.

He looks at me unsure. I continue to stare at him 'till he gives up. "Fine. Okay, her name is Koyashiba Miki, and she's really cool. She's pretty, she's popularly known, and chill about everything! She loves art, and is awesome at it! We have a lot in common actually. Her sister is actually friends with my sisters. I didn't even know that, neither of us did!"

"Okay that's enough, and about the feeling?"

"Well, when she leaves for class, or something of the like, I get this heavy heavy feeling at my chest and it starts to hurt and stuff, and I start getting depressed. I can't exactly put it in words, or physical, orin examples, and I'm wondering if.."

"I'm sorry, Yoru. I don't know what that feeling feels like, but I'll ask my friend okay?"

"Okay.."

"I'll tell you when I have the answer." Well this is _such_ a coincidence.

* * *

~ KuTaU ~

* * *

"Hey Kukai?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something? My cousin asked me and I think it's a guy thing so.." as I say these sentences, they come out the way a robot would have said it.

"Oh yeah, sure. Shoot."

I take a deep breath. Here it goes. "There's a girl he hangs out with. He hangs out with her and he says she's 'chill with everything' and 'is popularly known' in the school and well anyways, then they leave each other, his chest starts to feel heavy and it starts to hurt and he starts getting depressed. He couldn't really describe it actually and I'm wondering what I should tell him."

Kukai chuckled. "That's cute. Utau, it's an everybody thing. It happens to girls too. Tell the dude, 'You're falling in love.' I've _really_ got to go now. The coach is going to kill me."

So.. this means..

"See you Utau!"

"I'll watch your game on TV later!" I wave and smile as he thumbs me up.

I'm falling for him?

* * *

I sit up and walk back into my house. I then, approach the living room coach and fall back onto it. I stare at the ground and then to my hands.

"... so.. I _love_ him?"

* * *

_Even when I said I wouldn't fall for him... I guess I lied?_

* * *

Was my way of working hard to understand? I hope you figured the code. (: Like bold with bold, italics with italics. If you haven't, you can look back. XD

There were some parts where I couldn't put the second part anywhere but "beside" the first part.

I could've used this for Trust honestly, the elements of this, but I just.. I don't know. It started as Amuhiko really, but then I thought if I was, then I should save it for Trust.. **but I can't wait that long!** And Yaya was automatically off the list because she's the cute kind. So, I went down the list...

"NagixAmu" Reason explained.  
"IkutoxAmu" Too used.  
"RimaxNagi" Eh...  
"TadasexRima" Not in the mood...  
"AmuxKairi" ..what? It's cute but..  
"AmuxKukai" Sszz...  
"IkutoxRima" I don't like crack.  
"YayaxTadase" I love the possibility, but I'm sorry.  
"UtauxTadase" Still love the possibility but..  
"KukaixRima" Tha-... dude I'd rather they were siblings of the story.  
"KukaixUtau" I'm doing it.

I could've used this for my first D. Gray-Man story, but Lenalee doing this is weird.. and I don't write yaoi.. I just read it now, accidental or not. (I frankly don't care if I read yuri/yaoi anymore, ever since I met D. Gray-Man fanfictions, I've been reading them a lot accidentally.

Wow, this was all done in about... 2 hours? Exclude the hours that I had to use to retype it on the computer. Wow, I'm proud of myself... I'm lying.

But I _am_ proud of this story. Thanks for reading! I'm pretty sure this has at least three or five mistakes. Point them out yeah? (:

It's only one chapter though.. Sorry, I just know I'll fffff...luck it up.


End file.
